Saying NO
Until few months ago, “no” was not in my vocabulary. Shortest word to write and yet hardest word to say.
I grew up thinking no was the most awkward, guilt inducing, nerve racking, embarrassing word in the language.
Society evolves around yes or hope and when a no comes around it must be accompanied by weak excuses and rationalizations.
“No” is offensive when said in an unassertive or aggressive manner. That’s how we all use it, faking sorry feelings or exploding because too much is too much.
And when we force ourselves to say yes instead of no we feel pitiful adding more anger to our lives.
At 42 I discovered the power of no. The decisive no that doesn’t need explanation, direct and simple.
The no that saves so much time at the end of the day and makes your yes so much valuable.
No to a bunch of small things we keep in the air because we fear hurting feelings.
And I will accept your no over a million of “yes but” that will never happen. You don’t lose friends over a no, you lose them over a wrong yes.
I made so many mistakes by not saying no. Mistakes costing friends and monies.
Please people, accept my apologies for not saying NO when I wanted needed to.
Bottom line, no has changed my life in the best possible way.
“Tone is the hardest part of saying no.” — Jonathan Price
Tags: apologies, negation, no, saying no, yes
This entry was posted on Thursday, December 16th, 2010 at 11:32 am and is filed under Entrepreneur, Family, Friends, Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
3 comments to “Saying NO”
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You’re totally right.
I learned what you learned. If you say “yes” when you can’t, then you anger people. They could have found someone who could, or they would have kept their expectations down.
I went to a couple of self-improvement classes, and they taught that you should always say “yes”. It’s “so positive” which was what “people need to hear”. Am I that different? Or are the people who author these types of courses that stupid?
I think they probably author these courses so they can market them to business. Who cares if it works? if the courseware sound peachy to businesses, it’ll keep instructors employed.
So NO! I don’t agree with saying “yes” when you mean “no”.
great blog! I loved it! Eventually we all need to say YES to ourselves and no to the things we can not do, give, say or be in life… this one resonated with me! Thanks!